In Vino Veritas
The playlist of songs in praise of drinking is seemingly infinite. Songs about what happens next are harder to find. Some say don't go there. I understand that the drinkers in the audience don't want to hear it, that it goes against the grain, but as social beings we must compromise. What looks good, sounds good, tastes good, feels good, and smells good will never be unanimous. This is a request for The Dry Blues.
Taste may be a matter of opinion, but the effects of drinking alcohol are not. I can still recall a joke I heard as a child about drinking. It made me think to this day. “How's life?” -goes the joke; “Depends on the liver,” is the punchline. As I was but a child, it had to be explained to me by the circle of adults to which I was being admitted. When adults are asked by youth to explain adult subjects the answer is, typically, tortuous. I was no exception. “Whatever it means,” I thought, “it is important.”
These early impressions of drinking were reinforced in High School. Everyone's been there. My generation was formed by the release of the newly-released record album, “Aqualung,” by the rock group Jethro Tull. With characteristically British Invasion aplomb, it hammered the message of the alcoholic's descent into degeneracy. The record's theme was an original foray into the novel genre of temperance rock.
Ian Anderson and I do not agree about a lot of things. About one thing we are in perfect harmony. The song “Locomotive Breath” on the record begins:
In the shuffling madness
Of the locomotive breath
Runs the all-time loser
Headlong to his death
It conjures (for me) the sickly-sweet odour of fermented Juniper berries, mingled with aldehyde, ketones, and vinegar. Phew!
Empirically speaking, if the volume of alcohol consumed is more than the rate at which the liver can process it, the excess overflows the system. Only 90% is typically metabolized by the liver. The remaining 10% is excreted in the urine, perspiration, and breath. “Boozy” respiration, consequently, leads to suspicion of intoxication. The drinker wears the odor peculiar to aspirated alcohol like a signature scent.
The liver gives priority to alcohol over food when consumed together. Alcohol packs 4.5 calories per gram. While the drinker is burning-off calories from alcohol as fast as his liver can, un-metabolized food calories are set aside for later to be stored as body fat. And, incidentally, alcohol offers no nutritional value. Just calories and energy.
The liver gives priority to alcohol because it's easier to metabolize than food. Drinking is a race between the liver's power to dehydrogenase alcohol and the drinker's rate of consumption. The blood level alcohol content (BAC) then peaks, and doesn't go down, until the liver is done with the alcohol. All of it.
With a surplus of calorie energy on tap, the drinker needs a way to burn it, one way or another. Now, nobody gets drunk and goes to the gym, right? What typically happens next is the drinker nods-off. Alcohol depresses the CNS causing the intoxicated person to lurch on his feet. While stumbling is always good for laughs, falling down is not the worst that can happen. Miscalculation behind the wheel can have disastrous consequences.
That's a short, concise summary of casual drinking and the liver. It's the first of my course syllabus. Successive lectures will deal with chronic alcoholism specifically. The etiology of the degenerative diseases of the liver -cirrhosis, steatosis, Hepatitis, diabetes, and malnutrition will be covered. Beyond that is the sociology of addiction, crime, and dereliction.
Alcohol is dangerous and there is an urgent need to know as much about it as possible. I'm not telling anyone to miss the wake. What I am suggesting is stay until it's safe to leave.
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