Face Plant
A news story, published in the Dec. 6, (Sunday) 2025, 8:15 a.m. New York Post reads: "Park Avenue Armory bigwigs welcome raunchy art show displaying 12-foot penises by Marina Abramović — but want to evict cadets," written by Gabrielle Fahmy, and with photo slideshow by Marco Anelli. The advocacy-journalism involvement of the cadets is incidental for the purposes of this discussion. That conflict functions, in the news story, as a pretext for the true cause for outrage, which is, "12-ft penises." Despite its “news of the weird” appeal, it is newsworthy, as a 12-ft penis isn't something you see everyday.
Serbian-born Abramović, 78, gained notoriety in 1974 through her six-hour performance piece "Rhythm 0" at Studio Morra in Naples, Italy, a performance in which she remained motionless while audience members subjected her to increasingly violent acts - including assault and bloodletting - over six hours, though the event was likely staged or manipulated for dramatic impact. For added context, by 1974, the Conceptual art trend had passed its peak, and was yielding spotlight to Performance art, by artists - including Abramović - who is best categorized as such.
A synopsis of the reported event at the Park Avenue Armory, which is representative of the artist's work overall, is the subject of fertility. While provocative, the exhibit gives wide berth to the problem of pornography -or to anything inviting public censure and condemnation. Given the subject of fertility, I ask forgiveness for punning on "birth." It is what connects the exhibit's subject to normal sexuality. This is adult entertainment. It is advisable to leave your kids at home, as they may be expected to demand tedious explanation, hard to articulate for the benefit of the immature.
If you dislike the show - and performance art of its kind in general - consider yourself lucky. Despite differences, it is both legitimate entertainment (true) and, at the same time, deviant (both true). If you, like most people, give the show a pass, it is because you are probably not deviant. Granted, it's not for everyone. It is a matter of statistical distribution - market share - as well as artistic fetishism. To those (like myself) who do not like the performance, I hope you will admit, at least, that it speaks effectively TO you -even if it doesn't speak FOR you. One may judge the show, but one mustn't judge those for whom it speaks -the outliers, the outsiders, the outcasts.
The feature of the exhibition attracting greatest attention, as said, is that of its reported phallic gigantism, those "12-foot penises," noted in the Post article. In terms of dialectical materialism, it addresses the problem of XXX-large clothing sizes offered to the consumer, and the resulting problem of making products economically viable for the manufacturer, who must take into account the limited demand for sizes falling outside the profitable mean. All sizes within the statistical bell curve of mean demand sell-out first (and fastest), while the outlier sizes may never be sold at all, not even at sharply discounted prices. An inventory of unsellable merchandise is the retailer's nightmare.
Moreover, it begs the question of why the generically average size is the most common size, leading to the rhetorical question: What is natural selection? Evidently, according to the Theory of Evolution, the mean is necessarily the most "successful," in terms of natural selection. How, then, to account for the manufacture, and distribution of, extra-extra-extra large sizes? It seems pointless. My understanding of the theory of evolution is that it is overreaching by species - winning by any means - which, by the dialectic of natural selection, by trial-and-error – negotiation - results in a compromise satisfactory both to the species, and agreeable to the natural environment. It is the push-and-pull of adaptation to circumstances, and exploitation of, incidental opportunities.
Meanwhile, giants walk among us, usually ignored, often admired for their surplus, and yet, are never envied for the difficulties with which they contend. Size is existential. It is not a choice, or a preference, which are predicates of art (among many things). The expression, in art, of being an “outlier” is a cry of loneliness, of being different, apart from the majority of the human race. Nobody "likes," or "dislikes" enormity, as can be said of a work of decorative art. One gauges oneself in relation to the other, and responds accordingly, resulting in a measure of empathy which, in sequence, conveys meaning to all participants. It is axiomatic that the closer one gets to the subject of the performance, the stronger the emotional empathy felt for the performer.
After magnitude – size – predicates of appearance are merely incidental. Nature cares not a jot for the feelings of men. It is strictly functional and exploits personal preferences to its own ends. Consider, as an emotionally-neutral example, the reproductive strategy of the Yucca -which grows in my area, the Southwest desert. When it blossoms, to call the effect striking does not do it justice, aesthetically. At this point in the discussion, I feel the need to introduce the term "orgasmic," in response to beautiful effects, which may or may not be artistically intentional. My term's inspiration and semantic legitimacy is as tribute to the Surrealists' special term, "convulsive beauty."
Analysis of the emotional and psychological effect of the orgasmic aesthetics of beauty is better left for another blog post, staying confined, at this time, to the function of natural selection, and its effect on the observer. As an example of aesthetic, natural selection in vivo, consider the plant variety - common in the Southwest desert – called Thompson's Yucca. The Yucca's blossom, and its fertilization, is not just “beautiful,” it is dramatically beautiful. Its whole aesthetic effect involves, particularly, a feature of gigantism -topic of the present discussion. Research of botanical guide books show the plant, which is easy to recognize, but cannot express the drama of it's pollination, which would best be provided by elapsed-time video photography. The effect is not simply curious; it is Freudian.
Those of us who live in the neighborhood of Thompson's Yucca will (on a fine Spring day) notice to their surprise – and satisfaction – that a magnificent stalk has emerged from the plant, which is at least 3x the height of the fronds. The flower which blossoms is, itself, a stunning climax of the event, a dazzling, white starburst, emerging from the peak of the stalk. At the completion of the cycle the stalk topples to the ground spilling the seed at a distance from the plant measured by the length of the (now) dry stalk. The obvious function of the plant going to these great lengths is to ensure propagation - not competition with itself – by the spilling of its seed at its own feet. Thus, the yucca could be said to “have legs.” It propagates by walking.
Botanical guides describe the Thompson's Yucca in the wild as preferring to live (grow) apart, not in clusters. That fact would support the observation that it energetically, indeed heroically, seeks to disperse its genetic legacy as far from the point of origin as possible. The semantic effect is humorous, and even taxonomic descriptions may be read as wittily capturing the wisdom of nature's design, by increasing diversity, and improving species integrity. Following (for the reader's enjoyment), are a few lines of description copied from one source - composed without irony – while at the same time rendering the beauty of its flowering to its appreciative audience:
This species has been historically associated with Yucca rostrata, and some sources consider it a variety of that species, specifically Yucca rostrata var. linearis or Yucca rostrata var. integra, though it is now widely accepted as a distinct species It is often distinguished from Y. rostrata by its smaller size, shorter and narrower leaves with the widest part at or above the middle, and scabrous leaf surfaces Despite this, some taxonomists, such as J. M. Webber, have questioned the distinction, suggesting it may be a dwarf form of Y. rostrata or even capable of hybridizing with Y. reverchonii ...
In cultivation, Yucca thompsoniana is valued for its architectural form and drought tolerance. It thrives in full sun with well-drained soil and is hardy in USDA zones 7b to 11 It is a slow-growing plant that adapts well to reflected heat and various soil types, including rocky soils The plant is also noted for maintaining a neat appearance, as its older leaves hang down in a tidy, skirt-like fashion around the trunk, unlike some other yuccas that become unkempt It is used in landscaping and is featured in several botanical gardens, including the Boyce Thompson Arboretum and the New York Botanical Gardens ...